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intertext: (small mis'able dog)
Sunday, February 12th, 2012 06:39 pm
Robinson's death has hit me hard. Also, the general feeling of doglessness. I haven't been without a dog, except for when on holiday, for eighteen years. And only for brief periods in my whole life. And maybe I'm at the best of times a bit lonely, and a dog is a comforting Presence in one's life, even when it is old and infirm and sleeping most of the time.

So I did something a bit foolish. Yesterday, I went on the SPCA website, and there was a 4-month old pointer-terrier cross puppy who looked out at me and I kind of fell in love with. I stomped around yesterday and thought "no, it's too soon..." but this morning I thought, "ok, if it's still there..." and went down to see her. There was a couple ahead of me, but they decided against her. So I filled in my application. And the SPCA turned me down. For all the right reasons. This puppy has already had three homes and is already showing signs of separation anxiety. They want someone for her who ideally has another dog, and maybe in a family where someone will be home a lot. Also they were worried about my two cats, because this dog isn't proven to get along with cats. You know, and I know, that she probably would have been fine, and probably would have been a great fit. But they didn't know that, and I don't blame them. And as I told them, it's probably too soon anyway. But of course when I told them that I'd just lost another dog, I started crying. So I felt embarrassed for myself on top of everything else.

And now I feel even more bereft than I did before, because I'd realized how badly I want this hole in my heart to be filled, and how empty I feel now.
intertext: (Default)
Monday, November 8th, 2010 06:02 pm
I am saddened to have to report that Robinson is taking Zoe's death very well indeed.

He has been downright perky, and seems more relaxed than he's been for a while.

Zoe was a darling, but she could be quite unpleasant to Robinson. As a friend of mine said, "They don't call them 'bitches' for nothing!"

Robinson is a sweet, unassuming, gentlemanly dog, and couldn't stand up to her. I think he's glad she's gone.

And he's been very attentive to me, as only a sweet dog very closely bonded to his person can be when his person is distressed. As I have been. I'd forgotten just how effing painful grief can be.

Zoe may have been a bitch, but I do miss her.

But Robinson and Tabitha are my creature comforts.

And you! Thank you for all the messages of condolence. They really mean a lot.