When my cat passed away a couple weeks ago, I really did get all messed up. He was my best friend in so many ways. I'd had him 18-20 years, and through all the moves I've done, he's been the only friend that's been there through it all, even through my parents splitting up. His death came suddenly and it broke my heart. I'm still not all right.
So then I hit the dilemma of what to do about my assignments that were coming up. I actually spent three weeks on one paper -- I'm more of a last minute, all in one or two days kinda person -- so three weeks was a crazy amount of time. But it was because I couldn't think. I'd sit down every day, and write a few lines, then panic, freeze up, and go nowhere. I felt like I was having some sort of breakdown.
I'm sure it wasn't just that... I've got a number of other stresses in my life, the better of which is that I'm getting married in a month and a half... but when my cat died, it pushed my limits, and I'm still a bit of a mess...
And then I look back on all that I've just said, and know it's all 100% true for me, and know that to the wrong person, that either sounds like total bullshit, or "who cares? it's just a cat". So I told my profs that someone I was very close to passed away. Which is true. I know at least one of them flat-out didn't believe me. But at this point, I just have to let that go. I feel like I've done something wrong, but I really just needed some extra time to sort myself out.
I've also noticed that everyone seems to be dying lately.. maybe it's the age? I dunno. Two or three years ago, my aunt had an aneurysm within two weeks of Paul's aunt having an aneurysm. Paul's passed away; mine is severely disabled in a wheelchair. A few months before that, Paul's grandmother passed away. A few months after it, mine passed away. About a year ago, a close friend of our family passed away. I've also had a couple friends pass away in the last couple years, maybe not people I was super close to at the time, but had been in the past.
So I dunno, maybe it's just me and the people around me being doomed.. haha.. but I'm sure at least some of these people are genuine. And hey, how can you not feel sorry for the girl whose father and sister died twice?? :) Okay, so maybe not everyone deserves sympathy.. :)
On the flip side...
So then I hit the dilemma of what to do about my assignments that were coming up. I actually spent three weeks on one paper -- I'm more of a last minute, all in one or two days kinda person -- so three weeks was a crazy amount of time. But it was because I couldn't think. I'd sit down every day, and write a few lines, then panic, freeze up, and go nowhere. I felt like I was having some sort of breakdown.
I'm sure it wasn't just that... I've got a number of other stresses in my life, the better of which is that I'm getting married in a month and a half... but when my cat died, it pushed my limits, and I'm still a bit of a mess...
And then I look back on all that I've just said, and know it's all 100% true for me, and know that to the wrong person, that either sounds like total bullshit, or "who cares? it's just a cat". So I told my profs that someone I was very close to passed away. Which is true. I know at least one of them flat-out didn't believe me. But at this point, I just have to let that go. I feel like I've done something wrong, but I really just needed some extra time to sort myself out.
I've also noticed that everyone seems to be dying lately.. maybe it's the age? I dunno. Two or three years ago, my aunt had an aneurysm within two weeks of Paul's aunt having an aneurysm. Paul's passed away; mine is severely disabled in a wheelchair. A few months before that, Paul's grandmother passed away. A few months after it, mine passed away. About a year ago, a close friend of our family passed away. I've also had a couple friends pass away in the last couple years, maybe not people I was super close to at the time, but had been in the past.
So I dunno, maybe it's just me and the people around me being doomed.. haha.. but I'm sure at least some of these people are genuine. And hey, how can you not feel sorry for the girl whose father and sister died twice?? :) Okay, so maybe not everyone deserves sympathy.. :)