intertext

Milestone, of a sort

Tue, 06 Mar 2018 22:03:51 GMT

Today I let the powers that be know that I intend to retire sometime towards the end of August.

I've been thinking about this for some time, but didn't think I'd be able to afford it. Then my aunt died and left me some money - not a fortune, but a nice little nest-egg. Plus I didn't plunge all the equity from my old house into my present mortgage, so I had some capital invested from that as well. I consulted my financial advisor and she gave me full blessing to go ahead with whatever I wanted to do.

When push came to shove, it was surprisingly difficult to make the announcement. I have a lot invested in this job, and have been doing it for more than 25 years. It feels odd to be thinking about not doing it permanently, for all I'm always falling over myself with relief when end of term comes every year.

I don't really worry that I won't have an identity outside of work - I've always put a lot of energy into things other than work, like photography, my dog(s), gardening, and so on. And I look forward very much to having the leisure to do more of those things.

I'll even still be working for another year, because we have this rather splendid thing called a "post-retirement contract" where you retire then get hired back on a 50% contract. You thus collect a 50% salary, but you have started earning your pension, so in effect you are working half-time for a full-time salary, or possibly a bit more.

Even so, it feels a bit like being at the brink of a precipice, or stepping into a future that I'm a bit unsure of. A bit like leaving home when young - leaving the secure nest of employment to be self-sufficient. Although I have sufficient funds, I won't be rich. I do have one great security, though, my house, which has appreciated considerably in value since I bought it and which I could sell in a heartbeat if I needed to. Not that I want to be in that position, but I'll be ok if my physical infirmities become too great and I need something smaller and more convenient.

I'm not making it widely public at work, although I have obviously told the Chair of the department and the Dean. I don't want a fuss, and my feelings about the English department are ... complicated, for various reasons. They'll know when it's official, and next year when I'm on the post-retirement contract.

And I'm still working on my PhD! That was always a personal thing more than anything for my "career" so it doesn't matter if I'm still actually employed or not. Although - and I'll say this here that I wouldn't say publicly - if something came up in Children's Lit somewhere that I could apply for once I finish or am a bit closer to finishing, I might. Much as I've loved teaching at the college, there would still be something shiny about teaching in my own area. And I can see myself continuing to do research and to write.

So there we are. I'm blogging about it so it must be true.

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Return

Fri, 21 Apr 2017 00:14:03 GMT

Readers, it has been five years since I last posted.

I've been circling around the idea of starting up again, but it always felt a bit self-conscious and awkward. But then I was talking to a friend and colleague who also maintains a journal here (we were discussing the whole LJ TOS kerfuffle), and he was encouraging in a very nice way, so I logged in and poked around. And it was still about a week later that I plucked up the courage to start this. But here we are.

I've missed it. Several times I have sat for hours rereading all my LJ posts, laughing and crying and wishing I was still doing it. I think one reason I have not is that for a long time I associated blogging with a particular friend from whom I have become estranged, and that estrangement was extremely painful at the time and still hurts, though at least we have reached a bit of a reconciliation to the point where we can at least speak to one another again.

It helps, I think, to be starting again in Dreamwidth. Partly because of the kerfuffle, I am no longer cross-posting to LJ. Not because I fear the scrutiny of the KGB or whoever wants to read the extremely unexciting ramblings of a mild-mannered, geeky woman now of more than a certain age. More because it feels like a true tabula rasa, a new start in a new journal, but with access to my old life and whoever of my old flist is still around.

Many of you are my friends on FB, or in RL, so will know about my doings, but maybe in part for my own sense of bridge-building between past and present, here's a brief recap.

What is the same: I'm still pretty much the same person, though I do feel a bit more reserved and cautious even than before. My second-to-last post in LJ was, regrettably, announcing the death of my beloved bearded collie Robinson. Well, I have another one. Same breed. Name of Baggins. He will likely feature largely in these pages. I have the same two cats. I'm still working at the same community college, though I'm now no longer a union boss. I think that experience may have been another thing that put me off writing here; it was very much a mixed blessing. Good work, but difficult inter-personal relationships. I'm still living alone and unattached romantically and really don't see that ever changing.

What is different: the biggest thing is that I sold my old house, the one I lived in through all that difficult time with my mother, and have bought my own. It's in a lovely neighbourhood in one of the nicest parts of town and for Victoria it's fairly old (1912). I love it. Because of Baggins, and because it is green, with a bright red door (which makes sense in my own brain anyway), I call it "Bag End" when I think about it to myself. Let's forget any possible associations with "old bags" please.

The other biggest thing, a very big thing, is that I am working on a PhD, writing about intertextuality in the works of Diana Wynne Jones. I am very happy about this, and the work is going as well as can be expected, and I'm enjoying it. I am enrolled via distance at Cardiff University, which feels very posh. It's another new start, but also a chance to take back one of the big things I lost in the years I was looking after my mother. I doubt many realized that when I first started my LJ I was enrolled in a PhD program at UVic. I think I might like to use this now for some PhD thinking-out-loud, so let me know if you'd like to be included in a filter.

I went to Greece in 2014, which was good, but I didn't enjoy it as much as I had hoped, and it wasn't life changing.

I had another hip replacement last year, and am still not quite as mobile as I would like, but it's getting there. Baggins keeps me walking and my garden keeps me determined to stay fit. My new house has a most delightful garden, almost like a secret garden at the back and with many flowering trees and a Japanese Maple and all sorts.

I am, in most respects, very happy. So that's all right.

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Silly old dog

Sat, 04 Jun 2011 17:01:25 GMT

Ate ten prawn shells last night. Of course, that means that stupid owner left them somewhere where dog could get them (and ate 10 spot prawns all by herself nom nom nom).

Anyway, dog doesn't seem to have suffered any ill effects. He slept as soundly as only a deaf old dog can, and doesn't appear to have had any tummy upset.

Sheesh.

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You know your dog is old when...

Thu, 02 Jun 2011 01:26:56 GMT

You have to drive him (two and a half blocks) to the dog park.
You are ecstatic when you realize that he's still breathing, though deeply asleep.
You use your mother's wheelchair lift to get him up and down the front steps of the house.
You have little pieces of yoga mat all around your house, to give him traction on your wood floor.
Your cat doesn't take him seriously.

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