Let me prelude this by saying that in general old people rock. So I don't think all old people are selfish and terrible.
A lot of elderly people think they deserve respect purely for being on this planet longer than others, and deserve care even when it screws around with another person's life. It seems this is the case for this woman.
Seriously, I would be so enraged if someone never even sent my mother a card, visited her, or came to the fricken memorial, and then after all that, had the audacity to ask me to care for them when they were sick! I commend you for not being a Giant Bitch (tm), because I don't know if I would have been able to restrain myself on that one.
Maybe I am a terrible person but "don't shit where you sleep" the saying is.
I think you are entirely justified in telling her to eff off. Don't feel guilty, either. If she really had few friends perhaps she could have valued the ones she had, like your mother, and maybe attended a memorial service. I can't even believe that she didn't show up for that.
I'm sorry, that was a really opinionated comment. But what I am saying is, don't justify yourself. You earned your independance and it sounds like this woman is probably the least worthy person to compromise it. Plus, a bitter caregiver is a crappy one - it's in her best interest to get someone who is a more or less 'happy' caregiver, regardless of whether or not she has to pay.
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Let me prelude this by saying that in general old people rock. So I don't think all old people are selfish and terrible.
A lot of elderly people think they deserve respect purely for being on this planet longer than others, and deserve care even when it screws around with another person's life. It seems this is the case for this woman.
Seriously, I would be so enraged if someone never even sent my mother a card, visited her, or came to the fricken memorial, and then after all that, had the audacity to ask me to care for them when they were sick! I commend you for not being a Giant Bitch (tm), because I don't know if I would have been able to restrain myself on that one.
Maybe I am a terrible person but "don't shit where you sleep" the saying is.
I think you are entirely justified in telling her to eff off. Don't feel guilty, either. If she really had few friends perhaps she could have valued the ones she had, like your mother, and maybe attended a memorial service. I can't even believe that she didn't show up for that.
I'm sorry, that was a really opinionated comment. But what I am saying is, don't justify yourself. You earned your independance and it sounds like this woman is probably the least worthy person to compromise it. Plus, a bitter caregiver is a crappy one - it's in her best interest to get someone who is a more or less 'happy' caregiver, regardless of whether or not she has to pay.