Sunday, December 14th, 2025 10:19 pm

Reading. Scalzi, Bourke, Barber + Bayley, Boddice, Cowart )

Writing. I have a document that contains the outline and extensive transcribed quotations for the Descartes apologia! ... it's already over 5000 words long! And that's before I even get into the argument about Against New Dualism! I think. It is going to wind up needing to be split into two essays. One of which is the quotations about How People Summarise Descartes + What Descartes Actually Said, and the second of which will then be the polemic about how you don't get to rail against mind-body dualism if you then replicate it unfailingly with commitment to the absolute separation of central sensitisation and peripheral nociception. With the former as non-essential background reading for the latter...

Watching. Encanto, courtesy of The Child. I had retained approximately none of the plot from the Encanto-flavoured Baby Yoga we did together recently, happily, and also I Did A Cry. (I am also genuinely impressed that "fish is in terrible bowl" was an indication of where things were going...)

Listening. The Instructions For Getting To The Child, while cycling, via the bone-conduction headphones. V pleased.

Playing. The Little Orchard avec Child! Using some definite House Rules. Also being Someone With Long Arms for various self-directed play. I continue to be told Many Numberblocks Facts. :)

Eating. I put in an order with Cocoa Loco, maker of My Favourite Chocolate For A While Now, for the purposes of A Convenient Present; I also acquired, because Why Not, a single brownie portion and the cocoa nibs & hazelnut bar. I'm not sure I think the cocoa nibs particularly enhance the experience but I do like the Good Dark Chocolate With Hazelnuts of it all; I think I prefer My Default Brownie Recipe to their brownie BUT I also think that having a bag-safe well-wrappped calorie-dense food was extremely valuable in the context of some of this week's more questionable adventures, and I did enjoy it a great deal while I was, you know, inhaling it.

Exploring. BIG HECKIN BIKE RIDE. Many fewer birds along the canal than last time I did that route (on an unseasonably warm day in April); extremely excited to confirm that Walthamstow Wetlands is Within Scope for a trip At Some Point, though possibly not until it's warmer again.

And then today I learned of the existence of and attended an event at the London LGBTQ+ Community Centre, just across the bridge from Blackfriars, which they blurb as "The London LGBTQ+ Community Centre is a sober, intersectional community centre and café where all LGBTQ+ people are welcome, supported, can build connections and can flourish." They have comfy sofas and a permanent clothes swap and a wee library and a very large bookshelf full of boardgames, and a whole bunch of structured social groups as well as walk-ins. I am charmed, I am pleased with my purchases (including MORE BULLSHIT CERAMICS), and I... am contemplating maybe actually getting myself out to some more of their events, not just when I have a friend visiting from abroad who suggested Attending A Market.

Sunday, December 14th, 2025 04:38 pm

On my way out the door to a vigil for last night's mass casualty incident; today is also the thirteenth anniversary of the Sandy Hook shooting, and there was an antisemitic mass shooting in Bondi Beach, Australia yesterday.

I do not know how I am going to get through this vigil and come home and light my chanukiyah, with its engraving, More life. The great work begins.

Sunday, December 14th, 2025 09:10 pm

Almost nothing has happened today, but that gives me a chance to talk about everything else that happened yesterday, hopefully before I forget.

I woke up and actually managed to get the train and tram to lift club. The last couple times I'd tried to make it there on public transport hadn't worked out, so it was nice to be able to make it. Especially because it's the last one of the year! At the end I gave George a hug that he said was so good it changed his life. "I'm a very enthusiastic hugger!" he said. "People aren't usually able to meet my energy!" But I guess I did. I love George, even if he does put me on a pedestal a little bit sometimes.

I got a lift home, with had the usual good chats with my pal D. I went right to Teddy's house to walk him, because our usual evening-walk had been swapped to morning walk this once. So this was not only the day that his human, Graham, was having his knee operation, he was having it as we were walking! I let Teddy lead me around the neighborhood for as long as I could but I had a big list of things to do so had to drag him home eventually. I had a good catch-up with Sylvia -- her sister was there, who is so effusive about how much of a help my household has been, aww -- but did have to scurry home so I could have a shower and be on to the next thing.

The next thing was D and I going most of the way to Liverpool to help a relative of V's who's cleaning out his mum's house. We've done this a few times and it's nearly done now. He'd saved me some apple-shaped dishes that I'd coveted the first time but left there; when I was looking through photos of the year for something parent-suitable I saw the photo of these dishes that I'd sent V in order to squee about them, and I was really sad that I hadn't taken them after all. I didn't expect them to have been put to one side for me but since they were I figured it was a sign and eagerly brought them home. They were greeted when I got here by [personal profile] angelofthenorth who recognized them immediately and has a couple herself. It was nice to feel so validated in that decision!

D and I spent a long time at the recycling center, separating stuff out into the appropriate bins. I was stymied by what to do with all the food: all the half-finished bags and jars that a well-stocked home cook had -- the jars all labeled neatly and everything. It was sad to have to get rid of it all. In the process I cut my finger on a bit of broken glass and had to ask the staff for first aid: one employee shouted to another in the scousest accent I've ever heard: "Alex! This man needs to wash his hands! He's got an injury!" They also gave me a little wound-cleaning wet wipe and a band-aid so it was okay.

I got home and needed a nap because we were going out again that evening. To see Karkasaurus and Petrol Bastard, which was such fun even if there was so much dry ice I could taste it and it felt like I was in beginning-of-horror-movie levels of fog. And like I said D got his Loop earplug stuck in his ear, but V got it out today so that's worked out okay. We ran into a number of people that we know there, from different things -- sign of a good gig -- and might have been led astray for a completely extraneous pint afterwards, by this person and her girlfriend and their Welsh friend. Said person continues to be delightfully tactile around me in a way that usually doesn't get to happen absent some romantic or sexual interest, and it's utterly delightful.

And then we left them to their reckless ways and got an uber home just before midnight which is why I didn't have time to talk about all of this in yesterday's blog post!

I did well to be feeling as okay as I am today; I think the fact that I continue to get insomnia when I'm drunk, which at least means I can drink water while I'm awake, keeps the hangovers from being as bad as I've been led to expect in my forties!

Sunday, December 14th, 2025 10:18 pm
Alibi sentence (or rather, alibi finishing of an unfinished sentence). How about you?

Tally:
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Day 12: [personal profile] luzula, [personal profile] garonne, [personal profile] goddess47, [personal profile] trobadora, [personal profile] badly_knitted, [personal profile] sylvanwitch, [personal profile] sanguinity, [personal profile] cornerofmadness, [personal profile] carenejeans, [personal profile] chestnut_pod, [personal profile] china_shop, [personal profile] ysilme

Day 13: [personal profile] goddess47, [personal profile] china_shop, [personal profile] trobadora, [personal profile] badly_knitted, [personal profile] sylvanwitch, [personal profile] chestnut_pod, [personal profile] sanguinity, [personal profile] cornerofmadness, [personal profile] carenejeans, [personal profile] china_shop, [personal profile] garonne, [personal profile] ysilme

Day 14: [personal profile] china_shop

Bonus farm news: Today I threshed some radish seeds.
Sunday, December 14th, 2025 03:56 pm

⌈ Secret Post #6918 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


01.



More! )


Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 58 secrets from Secret Submission Post #988.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
Sunday, December 14th, 2025 03:46 pm
Poll #33957 Chag sameach!
Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 11


But really, how do you spell it in English?

View Answers

Hanukkah
8 (72.7%)

Chanukah
2 (18.2%)

Hanukah
0 (0.0%)

Something else
1 (9.1%)



Also, please take a poem
Thursday, December 11th, 2025 11:45 pm
Ma' siarad tafodiaith hwntw fel siaradwr ail iaith nad yw'n byw yn y de yn gallu bod yn boen, achos ma' siaradwyr hwntw iaith gynta'n gweud wrtho fi mod i'n siarad Cymraeg yn iawn a bod fy ngramadeg yn iawn fel hwntw, ond wedyn ma' siaradwyr iaith gynta o'r gogledd yn gweud wrtho fi bod fy Nghymraeg yn anghywir er bod siaradwyr ail iaith o'r de yn gweud bod yr un peth yn union yn gywir. Ac wedyn so rhai o'r siaradwyr iaith gynta o'r gogledd hyd yn oed yn trïo siarad 'da fi achos mod i'n siaradwr ail iaith o'r de ?? Fi'n gwbod mod i'n dal i ddysgu ond ma'n rhwystredig.
Tuesday, December 9th, 2025 01:23 am
https://www.theguardian.com/science/2025/dec/08/linguists-start-compiling-first-ever-complete-dictionary-of-ancient-celtic

Linguists start compiling first ever complete dictionary of ancient Celtic

More than 1,000 words used as far back as 325BC to be collected for insight into past linguistic landscape

Friday, December 5th, 2025 10:46 am
Potential ideas for books I'd like to write include German (and possibly French) specifically for people wanting to read academic Celtic studies texts in it. Like the "German for Musicians" book I have but "German for Celticists" I suppose. And also maybe an Old Irish-Modern Irish dictionary if no-one else has done it by the time that I'd feel confident enough with my Irish (of numerous time periods) to do that.
Saturday, December 13th, 2025 06:07 pm
I have finished the first draft of my Yuletide pinch-hit (which is, yet again, in a fandom I have never written before, or at least one I've never posted to AO3 - go me?). I'm sure the feeling will fade once the beta-readers have gone over it, and I go back to put in all the bits I thought were in there to begin with but didn't actually make it out of my brain, but for now, I'll enjoy the feeling.

Also we have our Christmas tree up and decorated. Other Christmas decorations, not so much, but then our celebration of Christmas isn't so much Actual Holiday as it is Oh Thank Fuck The Semester's Over And We Have Time Off, with a side of movies and Chinese food.

Next up: finishing my Secret Santa gift. Maybe put on some nice seasonal murder while I embroider. :-D
Wednesday, December 17th, 2025 08:39 am
"He took the Walkman out of his pocket and flipped through the songs in the cassette."

Oh, sweetie. That's... that's just not how cassette tapes work. Not even overseas. You fast forward or rewind - literally winding the tape again - and hope that your timing is amazing. I mean, with practice I guess you can get pretty good, but still.

*****************


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Sunday, December 14th, 2025 10:50 am
Title: Martyr!
Author: Kaveh Akbar
Genre: Fiction, literary

It took over a month for my hold on this book to come up, but Friday night I finished Martyr! by Kaveh Akbar. If you look into online book recommendations like on New York Times or NPR, you've probably seen this title come up. This book is about a young poet who sobers up after years of severe addiction and is now looking for meaning and purpose.

Martyr! is a beautiful book about the very human search for meaning in our lives, but it also is not afraid to shy away from the ugliness of that search. It juxtaposes eloquently-worded paragraphs of generational grief with Cyrus waking up having pissed the bed because he went to sleep so drunk the night before. Neither of these things cancels the other out. 

Everyone in Martyr! is flawed, often deeply, but they're all also very real, and they're trying their best; they aren't trying to hurt anyone, but they cause hurt anyway, and then they and those around them just have to deal with that. Martyr! weighs the search for personal meaning against the duty owed to others and doesn't come up with a clean answer. What responsibility did Orkideh have to her family as opposed to herself? What responsibility did Ali have to Cyrus as opposed to himself? What responsibility does Cyrus have to Zee, as opposed to his search for a meaningful death? 

Cyrus' story is mainly the post-sobriety story: He's doing what he's supposed to, he's not drinking or doing drugs, he's going to his AA meetings, he's working (after a fashion)...and what's the reward? He still can't sleep at night and he feels directionless and alone and now he doesn't even have the ecstasy of a good high to look forward to. This is the "so what now?" part of the sobriety journey.

It's also in many ways a family story. Cyrus lost his mother when he was young and his father shortly after he left for college, and he spends the book trying to reckon with these things and with the people his parents were. Roya is the mother Cyrus never knew, whose shape he could only vaguely sketch out from his father's grief and his unstable uncle's recollections. Ali is the father who supported Cyrus in all practical ways, and sacrificed mightily to do it, but did not really have the emotional bandwidth to be there for his son. And there are parallels between Cyrus and Roya arising later in the book that tugged quite hard on my heartstrings, but I won't spoil anything here.

Cyrus wants to find meaning, but seems only able to grasp it in the idea of a meaningful death--hence his obsession with martyrs. The idea of a life with meaning seems beyond him. He struggles throughout the book with this and with the people trying to suggest that dying is not the only way to have lived. 

I really enjoyed this book and I think it deserves the praise it's gotten. I've tried to sum up here what the book is "about," but it's a story driven by emotion more than plot. It's Cyrus' journey and his steps and stumbles along the way, and I think Akbar did a wonderful job with it.
Sunday, December 14th, 2025 10:40 am
On Friday, I saw icicles that were 5 feet long hanging off the metal roof of a low slung hardware store in a small town. Nice!

I also saw a great many houses with icicles caused by ice dams. This is bad, bad, bad. Ice forms at the edge of the roof and then melting water cannot drip off. It backs up and, usually, leaks into the building. My former house suffered from this and no amount of ventilation or insulation or anything else could prevent ice dams from forming. It was stressful, frustrating and expensive. I think it had to do it being a four-square, hip roofed house built in the 1920s. Every time I see ice dams on a house I feel a surge of gladness that I no longer have to deal with this problem.

The best icicles are on a sunny day in the late winter, after a wet snow that sticks to the evergreens. As the snow melts in the sun, short icicles form at the end of the branches, like a fairy tale image of winter.

This morning's low temperature was -11F / -23C and the big warm up (sarcasm) for the afternoon is 4F / -15C. But on Tuesday the prediction is for 36F / 2C. Ahhh....
Tags:
Sunday, December 14th, 2025 05:55 pm
Netflix's Wake Up Dead Man, the third Knives Out movie, wasn't for me.

The first one had an interesting mystery. I guessed a lot about the second one, but it was pretty fun and original. I also guessed a lot about this one and found it quite depressing. Plus, we didn't even see Benoit Blanc's husband again.

Nice cast, though, especially Kerry Washington and Andrew Scott. <3
Sunday, December 14th, 2025 10:37 am
On a lighter Parisian note, I read my first Katherine Rundell book, Rooftoppers, which I would have ADORED at age ten but also found extremely fun at age forty!

The heroine of Rooftoppers is orphan Sophie, found floating in a cello case the English Channel after a terrible shipwreck and adopted by a charming eccentric named Charles who raises her on Shakespeare and Free Spirited Inquiry. Unfortunately the English authorities do not approve of children being raised on Shakespeare and Free Spirited Inquiry, so when they threaten to remove Sophie to an orphanage, Charles and Sophie buy themselves time by fleeing to Paris in an attempt to track down traces of Sophie's parentage.

Sophie is stubbornly convinced she might have a mother somewhere out there who survived the shipwreck! Charles is less convinced, but willing to be supportive. On account of the Authorities, however, Charles advises Sophie to stay in the hotel while he pursues the investigation -- but Sophie will not be confined! So she starts pursuing her own investigations via the hotel roof, where she rapidly collides with Matteo, an extremely feral child who claims ownership of the Paris roofs and Does Not Want want Sophie intruding.

But of course eventually Sophie wins Matteo over and is welcomed into the world of the Rooftoppers, Parisian children who have fled from orphanages in favor of leaping from spire to steeple, stealing scraps and shooting pigeons (but also sometimes befriending the pigeons) and generally making a self-sufficient sort of life for themselves in the Most Scenic Surroundings in the World. The book makes it quite clear that the Rooftoppers are often cold and hungry and smelly and the whole thing is no bed of roses, while nonetheless fully and joyously indulging in the tropey delight of secret! hyper-competent! child! rooftop! society!!

The book as a whole strikes a lovely tonal balance just on the edge of fairy tale -- everything is very technically plausible and nothing is actually magic, but also, you know, the central image of the book is a gang of rooftop Lost Kids chasing the haunting sound of cello music over the roof of the Palais de Justice. The ending I think does not make the mistake of trying to resolve too much, and overall I found it a really charming experience.
Sunday, December 14th, 2025 06:59 am
Hanukkah tonight, but not a happy one. Some forty people shot, eleven of them killed, in an attack on a first-night Hanukkah celebration on a beach in Sydney, Australia. Anti-Semitism the apparent cause. Yes, again.

More celebratory news in the actor-comedian-dancer Dick Van Dyke reaching his centenary yesterday. He's good at what he does, I saw a couple of his movies when I was very small and enjoyed them, and that's about all I have to say about that. Such an intensely American figure should never have been asked to play a cockney chimney sweep in the first place, but his talent did a good job with the performance, accent or no.

Say, I've been to a couple of concerts. A Stanford student recital, various groups doing movements of chamber music pieces. The only work I knew well was Brahms's Op. 60 piano quartet, and I could hear how far the students had to stretch in this tumultuously dark work, but they tried hard. Most interesting was Chausson's Op. 3 piano trio, with its extremely strange first-movement ending. Two pianists playing a movement from a Rachmaninoff suite changed places with their page turners for the next movement; that was nice.

Up in the City, the Esmé Quartet was joined by Kronos cellist Paul Wiancko for Schubert's String Quintet, though the program book kept stating that it was a quartet. This was the last concert in the Robert Greenberg-curated series of morning Schubert concerts, and Greenberg had some useful things to say about how the piece is constructed from sub-ensembles: two overlapping quartets in the opening bars, a trio playing the theme in the slow movement with the first violin dancing descant above and the second cello providing pizzicato below. In that slow movement, when Schubert lowers the already pp volume to ppp, the softness and beauty were truly exquisite.
Sunday, December 14th, 2025 02:26 pm
 Doone turned up in my dreams- not the woman herself but just her name. It was attached (in the dream) to someone rather different.

As a first name it is possibly unique. And I have remembered it right. It's Doone (as in Lorna). It may have been a stage name because Doone was a dancer. A professional dancer- who performed in Monte Carlo- where she met Leonide Massine- and in the chorus line of the London production of My Fair Lady.

She lived next door when I was in my teens. She had a husband called Gervaise. My parents didn't care for him, though they had them both over to dinner once; they thought he was a bit of a wide boy. They might even have used the word "spiv".

I looked Doone and Gervais up on line. and found a brief notice of their marriage. After that Gervaise fades from the record, even though he is described as a writer. Maybe he did write but never published. Doone, though, carries on. She had three children after the time I knew her, one called Lorna (of course), one who became a businessman and a third who is currently rector of a parish in Bexhill- just up the road from here. This parsonical son is the kind of Christian who thinks Tai Chi is of the devil.  Doone herself went on to become a mainstay of a local community theatre. She was alive in 2013- and will have turned 90 if she's still around. 

Doone matters to me because she was one of the few adults to take notice of me at a time when I was isolated and lonely. Also because she involved me briefly in am dram and gifted me with the role that represents the peak of my acting career- having me deliver Jacques speech on the Seven Ages of Man- that great essay on Mutability- from the stage of the village hall. I can still- though now positioned somewhere between the fifth and sixth age- recite most of it by heart. 
Sunday, December 14th, 2025 09:05 am
I was a bit surprised to come across this as Hartwell wasn't really the go-to editor where women's SF was concerned. An interesting snapshot of SF in a sixteen-year period. The end is the fall of the American republic. Not sure what was significant about 1984.

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