My Heart is Aching

[intertext]

So, because our "Black Wednesday" film noir night fell through and will become "Black Tuesday" next week, lidocafe and I went to see Once this evening instead. It was lovely, but leaves me feeling sad and empty and lamenting my lost youth and lost loves and lost opportunities and ... sigh. Like Before Sunrise, it was for me like seeing own life flashing in front of me. Except that if it had been my life, I would have slept with the guy, but the ending would have been the same. So the girl in that movie was stronger than I ever was, even if she looks and dresses exactly like I did when I was twenty, only prettier of course.

So now, I'm at home in my study with my dogs at my feet, listening to the soundtrack for Once. My house seemed very empty when I came home. I shouldn't wallow. But partly it's a sort of Keatsian drinking deep of melancholy and partly it's just - you have no idea how lonely it gets sometimes.

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[lidocafe.livejournal.com]

I think I do know.

Some people don't get love; no people don't want love.