Winter Thoughts

[intertext]

Walking to work this morning, and noticing the autumn leaves, thinking that one serious winter gale and they'll all be gone...

Worrying about friends. One I feel is drifting away, stretched almost to the limit. All I can do is keep making rather footling offers of help, of rides in the car... stupid, useless, politely refused. But what else can I do? I have nothing else to give except care and thoughts, but this friend is intensely private, self-sufficient.

Then, there are my old friends, who are now facing the death of a son. Unimaginable.

Marking. Dear student: if you think that uploading a file with the name "send that shit" is in any way appropriate, I have news for you. No love, ... me.

Taking the dogs for a walk this afternoon in almost-darkness. Realizing that winter is really almost here




nablopomo #2

Comments

[wordweaverlynn.livejournal.com]

All you can do for the first friend is go on being there and not take it personally; IMX, people like that (like me) do come back when they've dealt with the pain in private. It can take years.

As for your newly bereft friends. I am so sorry. Just be aware that the pain does not go away nearly as rapidly as the condolences do. Being supportive of them in six weeks or six months will be greatly appreciated.

[intertext.livejournal.com]

Thanks - that's wise. I think my own instinct is always to try to "fix" things or help if I can, and I suspect in this case I can't, but it doesn't stop me from trying. I just don't want that friend to think I'm being pushy or interfering.

Those friends whose son is dying were among the most supportive of me when my mother was dying and after her death. I think for them, actually, just being there representing a time when life was normal is important. We walk our dogs together regularly and I hope they'll be able to keep doing that.