Winter Thoughts

[intertext]

Walking to work this morning, and noticing the autumn leaves, thinking that one serious winter gale and they'll all be gone...

Worrying about friends. One I feel is drifting away, stretched almost to the limit. All I can do is keep making rather footling offers of help, of rides in the car... stupid, useless, politely refused. But what else can I do? I have nothing else to give except care and thoughts, but this friend is intensely private, self-sufficient.

Then, there are my old friends, who are now facing the death of a son. Unimaginable.

Marking. Dear student: if you think that uploading a file with the name "send that shit" is in any way appropriate, I have news for you. No love, ... me.

Taking the dogs for a walk this afternoon in almost-darkness. Realizing that winter is really almost here




nablopomo #2

Comments

[intertext.livejournal.com]

thanks - you're lovely to say that. But really, I don't want this to be about me (though I guess it is in a way). It's about worrying and feeling helpless and like I'm doing and saying all the wrong things, but wanting the person I'm worrying about to know that I'm there. Not in an "I'm worried about you, so you're obligated to let me know how you're doing" way, just ... knowing.

Communication Fail?

[superfoo.livejournal.com]

I didn't mean to make it sound as if I was placating some kind of selfishness at all, or to imply that it was about you, or to sound preachy or something! It not being about you is what I am complimenting ... feeling helpless is really awful, and I know what you mean about "knowing." I meant to communicate understanding your worry and concern, but the words didn't quite match up to what I meant, I think.

Re: Communication Fail?

[intertext.livejournal.com]

oh, no - no communication fail. I didn't want to give the impression that I was eliciting sympathy, just that I was feeling helpless in the face of a friend's difficulties and inadequate in how I was expressing it.

I think we were talking about the same thing, probably ;-)

Re: Communication Fail?

[superfoo.livejournal.com]

Hahah I think we were, too.